Choosing a Dildo: A Quick Check List
Faced with a gleaming wall of jewel-coloured silicone stallions or trying to decide on an shape or colour can be a little overwhelming at times. Use this shopping guide as an aid to get you a toy you’ll enjoy.
Diameter is even more important than length. Choose a dildo with the approximate girth of the number of fingers you like or about the size of a penis you have enjoyed in the past
When in doubt, go smaller. Just like the “eyes bigger than the stomach” phenomenon that happens at buffets, it’s easy to want too much. A toy that’s too big is useless, but a toy that’s a touch small can still make for a pretty good time.
If you’ve got to have a big one, consider a dildo that starts small at the tip and gradually widens in thickness to the base – it will be easier to work in. If the fit is tight at first, only the top portion will comfortably penetrate but as the receiver gets turned on and open, the entire length might slide right in.
Consider the angle. Dildos that are curved will arc up and away from the body when in a harness. If the dildo is straight, it will aim toward the floorboards, owing both to gravity and to the slightly downward tilt of the pelvis. For that reason, stiff dildos with a curve tend to look better and are a little easier to control (without a hand guiding them to their destination). Curved dildos also give better G-spot and prostate stimulation.
Realistic or not? If you don’t want a toy that looks like a human penis, there is a multi-hued world of rippled forms and miniaturized animals to choose from. If you want veins and balls, those are available too. Pick a toy that is sexy to you. If you are using the toy in a harness, get a dildo with a flared, unbendable base. If the base is too small or too soft, it could slip out of the harness.
To mount of not to mount? Some dildos come with suction cup style bases that allow them to be secured to smooth surfaces such as tables or tile, for shower or bath-time fun.
If you can’t decide, get more than one. A major advantage of dildos – they don’t get jealous.
With all dildos, lots of lubricant will enhance your experience. Make sure that you are using the right kind of lubricant for the material your toy is made of. Check with our knowledgeable and friendly staff if you are unsure what goes with what.
Importance of Lubrication for Anal Sex and Anal Toys
Since the anus and rectum are not self-lubricating, lubricants from a bottle, tube, or jar are extremely helpful for making anal penetration more comfortable and more pleasurable. Though the anus at times may feel wet, the small amount of natural mucus and sweat that are present can lead to discomfort, irritation, and infection without the addition of extra lube.
Hundreds of different lubricants are available. Water-based lube is generally considered to be the safest all-purpose lubrication. It is also popular since many people find it to be non-irritating and it does not cause latex to deteriorate. Some women find that water-based lubes containing glycerin or sugar can potentially cause yeast infections, particularly if they are already prone to getting them. This is often the case with some flavoured lubes, which are for external-use only and are not to be used inside the vagina or anus. One minor drawback is that water-based lubes can dry more quickly than other forms of lubricant; however, adding a bit more lube, water, or saliva can reactivate its slippery properties.
Oil-based lubes are no longer recommended as a form of lubrication for safer sex. The oil can leave a coating on the rectum or vagina that can lead to bacterial or other infections. Oil-based lubes can also break down latex condoms, dams, gloves, other latex safer-sex products, diaphragms, and cervical caps, thus reducing their effectiveness. This is important to consider if you apply oil-based lubes to latex condoms on sex toys or toys that are made of latex.
Silicone based lubes are a newer form of lubrication. They have become quite popular since they are safe to use with all condoms and any latex products. Silicone-based lubes are also longer lasting than water-based lubes. However, they can be quite a bit harder to wash off and some women report irritation if the silicone lube is left on for too long. One main drawback is that they can cause damage to sex toys that are made of silicone. Using a condom with water-based lube instead of silicone-based lube may help protect the toy from breaking down.
In the past, most lubes that were made specifically for lubrication during intercourse were available only through the mail or adult novelty stores. Now many drugstores and retailers carry several kinds of lube. For you and your partner’s new adventures in anal sex, experimenting with different types and brands of lubes could be pleasurable, playful, and educational. As a precaution, especially if your skin is sensitive, you can test a small portion of the lube on your inner arm or thigh first at least the day before actually using it to make sure you aren’t allergic to that particular brand. Also, thoroughly wash all toys with warm water and soap after anal sex, especially before using them for vaginal penetration, due to the risk of bacterial infection.
A cock ring is most often used to make an erect penis harder and bigger, to keep it that way for a longer amount of time, and to delay and heighten orgasm. Cock rings work by constricting blood flow, keeping blood in the shaft of the penis. When a wearer finally does ejaculate, the sensation is more intense, since it took a longer time to come, and because the penis is filled with additional blood.
Men use cock rings with partners and/or by themselves. Some are actual rings as their name suggests, made of metal or rubber. Since these cock rings are not adjustable, the right size needs to be chosen for a proper fit. For example, one that fits too tightly could be hard to remove and could cut off circulation to the penis entirely. Metal rings can cause a rash or other skin reactions in some men, so this is something to consider when shopping around. Adjustable cock rings made of rawhide or leather straps are easier for beginners to use since the fit can be changed, and taking them off is more manageable. Avoid using cock ring substitutes; rubber bands, binder clips, and vices, for example, cause too much constriction.
Cock rings fit over the shaft and the testicles/scrotum when a man is not erect. Ball by ball, the testicles go through, then the penis shaft dives in head first through the remaining ring space. The ideal cock ring stays in place when the penis is soft, yet it can fairly easily slip off or unsnap when the penis is hard. Lube can be added to make putting rings on and taking them off a little easier – something that works for finger and toes rings, too.
Adult-oriented stores with genital jewelry departments sometimes have fitting rooms where you can try on merchandise. If you’re into advanced planning, you, or your partner, can measure your penile girth, or approximate how many of your fingers bunched together equal the thickness of their fleshy friend. The flexibility of rubber and other elasticized cock rings allows a greater range of fit for more differently endowed men, but they are not one-size-fits-all.
For safety and pleasure, a cock rings needs to increase the size of the erection only slightly. If you notice more pronounced swelling, then the fit is too tight. In that case, take the cock ring off immediately. It’s also vital for men to take off their cock ring at the first sign of pain or if the genitals feel cold. In addition, it’s dangerous to leave a ring on for too long, including wearing one to sleep when spontaneous erections are all the rage. An erection of several hours can cause blood coagulation in the penis, making it difficult to lose the erection. This is called priapism, a prolonged erection. Since new blood cannot enter the penis, this can be severely painful and cause permanent damage to the erectile tissue. If this happens to you, seek medical attention as soon as possible, and don’t worry – the staff at the ER has seen this before.
How to Use a Vibrator on Him
Old-school thinking was that guys would run for the nearest exit if you pulled out a vibrator during sex – the theory being that it freaked them out to have another ‘package’ in the room. Thankfully, that’s false. Since so many dudes are open to the awesome sensations a vibe can bring, we got the experts to spill their best tips on using one with him.
Buzz it on him before you strip him down. Lay him on the bed, turn it on, and rub it over him. Start at his knees, run up his thighs, and circle it around the bulge in his pants. This way, he’ll get comfortable with the feeling.
Start on a slow setting, and use the tip to circle your nipples and then his. As you circle, turn up the speed. Alternate between the vibrator and sucking his nipple (he should do the same for you). The back-and-forth and the heat from your lips feel amazing.Turn up the throttle (the shaft of a guy’s penis isn’t so sensitive, so he can handle it). Then move it up one side of his package and down the other. It’ll stimulate his entire penis and make him extra hard.
During oral, hold the side of your vibe against your cheek as you take him in and out. Your wet quivering mouth will feel unexpected and arousing.
Turn it down low, and wrap it in your panties to lessen the sensation. Then hold the vibrator against his boys while you fondle his shaft. A guy’s testicles can’t take very much stimulation, so the muffled shaking is right.
While he uses his tongue to pleasure you, have him put the vibrator inside you angled slightly toward your belly button – that way, it will hit your G-spot (the spongy, dime-size area about 2 inches inside you that is pleasured-packed with nerves). The combo of stimulation will make for an incredible intense orgasm.
Give him total control of the toy, and let him use it on you during penetration. Here’s a position that opens you up perfectly for him: Have him lie on his back, then get on top and lie so your back is against his chest. The entire front of your body is revealed, and he can reach around and trail the vibrator from your breasts to your clitoris.
His perineum – the small patch of skin between his balls and anus – is supersensitive. Pick up a small egg-shaped model (putting anything bigger near his booty may freak him out), and whip it out while you’re on top. As you ride him, reach behind and hold it against that area.
If he is hesitant about incorporating a toy into sex, start him off slowly with a vibrating ring. It’s a cock ring that you can slip around his penis that has a tiny vibrator attached. The pulsing will feel awesome at the base of his penis, and if he’s on top, it’ll hit your clitoris as he thrusts.
Glass toys can be heated or cooled as you desire. Simply submerse the toy in a bowl of water of your desired temperature. Glass toys also warm to your own body temperature as you use them for a very natural feeling. Glass toys transfer vibration very well, simply place a vibrating cock ring at the base of the toy and feel the vibration right through the shaft. If you use a vibrating cock ring with a protruding stimulator you can reach all kinds of places to tickle!
Because glass toys are so smooth, you’ll find that you may need less lubricant that usual. This also makes glass toys very safe and hygienic, as they are non-porous and easy to clean. Pyrex glass is also very durable and body safe. It’s the same material used to make some surgical tools.
Anal beads are a type of sex toy for both men and women to use when alone or with a partner. This toy is a good introduction to anal sex for beginners. Typically anal beads are smooth, round spheres made of silicone or plastic. Resembling a short strand of pearls, the beads are connected to one another by a piece of nylon cord or other type of strong rope-like material, with a ring or some other type of handle at one end. Some anal beads feel soft to the touch, while others are firm and textured. The beads are inserted gently one bead at a time into a person’s anus. At the moment of orgasm (or at other times), they are pulled out by the ring or handle. Another version of anal beads is similar to a dildo – made of plastic or rubber – where the shaft is a series of round spheres.
Anal beads are available in various sizes. Some people – especially beginners – use smaller beads at first. Others find that larger beads heighten the level of arousal and intensity. Since the outer sphincter of the anus has many nerve endings, the sensations produced by the movement of anal beads can cause intense arousal. Once inside, the inner sphincter responds to pressure that the beads – depending on the size – may create.
Some people experience pleasure during insertion. Others enjoy the sensation of the beads being pulled out when reaching orgasm as they can enhance climax. Some folks are able to orgasm exclusively from anal stimulation. Others, however, are more likely to orgasm when the anus and genitals are aroused simultaneously.
Relaxation and lube are two important ingredients in any type of anal sex. This minimizes or prevents the possibility of tearing the thin lining of the rectum. It also makes insertion easier and more comfortable. Taking a warm bath can help relax the muscles in the anus, too.
Important tips to keep in mind include:
- Choosing anal beads or other toys that are smooth in texture. These will not tear the lining of the rectum. Sometimes anal beads and other sex toys have a rough seam around each bead. It’s important to file these rough edges with an emery board before use.
- Making sure that the cord is strong and that the beads are connected securely.
- Placing the anal beads inside a condom (so that they are enclosed in a latex or polyurethane condom) before inserting them to keep them clean. It will also make it safer if you’re sharing them with your partner. If you choose not to use a condom, consider buying silicone beads rather than plastic, which are porous and more likely to trap bacteria. Anal beads can be washed with mild soap and warm water and need to be completely dry before being put away.
- Selecting anal sex toys that have a wide base or handle. This will help ensure that they remain partly outside of the anus at all times. Without this wide end, the toy can slip deep inside the rectum, making removal difficult.
Penis Pump Information
The penis pump is an effective tool in helping men achieve their maximum potential. When used correctly, the result can be amazing. You will notice an increase in length and certainly in girth. What the pump does is help to maximize the blood flow potential as well as stretching the tissue to accommodate a larger and firmer erection. Also note, you may see results right away, but like any exercise routine, you have to work at it, to help maintain the results. The following are some simple instructions for the use of the pumps.
Firstly, a warm up is required. It takes about 5 minutes and will assist in readying the penis for the suction the pump will create.
Start by placing a hot (not scalding) facecloth in the groin area. Wrapping it around the penis for about a minute.
Tighten and release the same muscles used when urinating. Do this about 50 + times. It helps to get the blood pumping in the right direction.
Lastly, a great stretching exercise. After the compress and tightening exercises, sit on a chair with your legs spread and the penis and testicles hanging off the chair. Next, use a good lubricant or oil and grip the penis firmly at the base and pull firmly towards the floor. Do this approximately 50 + times. You should be pulling firmly enough that it is almost uncomfortable, but isn’t.
Now You’re Ready For the Pump! – The pump needs to be lubricated at the base to allow the penis to slide in as the suction draws it into the cylinder. Be sure that once the penis is in the tube that the tube remains pressed firmly against the groin area. This keeps the suction in the tube. Draw the air out of the tube with the pump provided. Suction the penis until it stretched to almost uncomfortable. Keep the tube still placed firmly against the groin and relax. You`re on your way.
When first using the pump, start slowly.
- Week 1 – Use for 5 minutes
- Week 2 – Use for 10 minutes
- Week 3 – Use for 15 minutes
- Week 4 – Use for 20 minutes everyday
Remember, results will vary from person to person. After you`ve completed the program, maintenance is required (like all exercise routines) just not as often. You can do it for as little as 3x a week. Now enjoy!
Prostate and Prostate Massage
As our attitudes have started to open up when it comes to sex and sexuality, many things that were once considered taboo, or only for a certain sub-set of the population, are making their way into bedrooms up and down the country and around the world.
Anal play in particular has been something that was only talked about in very hushed tones. Gone are the days when playing with your bum is considered `gay` – many a straight man enjoy exploring the delights of anal sex. And thanks to the adult toy industry, there are more ways than ever before to get your kicks when it comes to bum fun.
But before we get onto the toys, let’s break down the ins and outs of the prostate and prostate massage.
What is the Prostate?
The Prostate is a small walnut-shaped gland that is located just underneath the bladder. The general purpose of the prostate is to produce an alkaline fluid that makes up 50-75% of the volume of semen during ejaculation.
When a man ejaculates, sperm is transmitted from the testicles, into the urethra via the ejaculatory glands, which lie within the prostate. This process can be achieved solely through prostrate stimulation (prostate massage) or anal sex.
How do I find my Prostate?
The best way of locating your prostate initially is digitally (using a finger). Using a bit of lube on your finger and insert into the anus. The prostate can be reached about 3 inches into the anal cavity – and if you bend your finger into a ‘come hither’ motion (so that you are essentially pointing to your tummy) – you should feel a small gland that feels like a walnut. This is the prostate. Don’t be alarmed if you don’t find it right away. Everybody is a little bit different, and it can take practice to find it. But that’s part of the fun!
What is Prostate Massage?
Simply, Prostate Massage can serve 2 functions. Medically, it is used to check for Prostate Cancer, or to help get a specimen of Expressed Prostate Secretion (EPS) to check for conditions such as Prostatitis. However, over the years it has become a popular sexual activity among men (and not just gay men).
The main purpose of prostate massage is to achieve orgasm. The prostate is often referred to as the ‘male g-spot’. Prostate stimulation can help improve erection size and strength, and increase the overall power of an orgasm (more so than just standard penile stimulation). Many men perform it during solo masturbation, or as part of a couple’s foreplay/intercourse. You can achieve prostate massage through various means: digitally (fingering), anal sex or using toys (although it doesn’t have to be a prostate massager specifically – it can be a dildo or a butt plug).
What are Prostate Massagers?
Prostate Massagers are toys made with the explicit purpose of massaging the prostate. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but most follow a standard design, and this is a curved shaft with a tapered tip, to provide pin-point stimulation to the prostate.
Most prostate massagers offer a vibration function, providing a new sensation during prostate play. Others are just standard plugs, which are used manually to provide stimulation. What type of massager you use is entirely personal preference. Some people like vibrations, some don’t – but there are plenty of different types of massagers to choose from, for beginners, right up to the advanced player.
How to use a Prostate Massager?
Dependent on the exact shape and design of the toy, your usage will generally be the same, but with a few exceptions. To ensure maximum comfort when inserting any toy, the easiest way I have found is to lie on my side with my knees pulled up towards my stomach. You could lie on your back with your legs raised. The best thing to do is just experiment and find what works best for you.
Once you have found the toy for you, what you do next depends entirely on the function and design of the toy. Manual massagers are best used by working your pelvic floor muscles – so when the device is inserted, you ‘clench’. Lay back, take it slowly – breathe in when you clench, breathe out when you release. The gentle movement of the massager is enough to stimulate the prostate. You do not need to use your hands to ‘move it in and out’.
With a vibrating toy, you can still apply the same ‘clench/release’ idea, but in reality, the vibrations from the massager will come into direct contact with the prostate. Some massagers have a base that rests against the perineum (the bit between your bum and your balls) – and when the prostate is stimulated from the outside as well as the inside – it really is an amazing feeling.
If you are using your fingers to give a prostate massage, make sure that your nails are trimmed. You can use a latex gloves for your hygiene if it helps. Once you have lubed up the finger and the anus, slowly insert. About three inches in, if you curve your finger upwards slightly you should then feel the prostate – it will feel hard and wrinkly. All you will want to do is apply gentle pressure – move your finger round in circles. Do not forcefully ‘poke’ or ‘prod’ the prostate, as it is extremely sensitive and you could do some serious damage! If you are doing this yourself, stop at once if you feel any pain. If you are doing it for someone else, you’ll need to rely on them to tell you – but to be on the safe side, always go gently and slowly.